This note/post has become an interesting thing lately; it's been passed on and forwarded around internet with a note that it was written by a 90-year old columnist. Everyone gets inspired, but somehow the truth got lost on the way - Regina is 53 and wrote that entry when she turned 50, not 90 :) hehehe
Funnily enough, many people seem to like these lessons less once they learn the author is younger; looks like we believe wisdom only comes with a very old age.
I disagree, and want to share this 45+5 lessons, I found them very right, making you feel content with who you are, and inspiring to celebrate life. Read on :)
45 LIFE LESSONS AND 5 TO GROW ON
by Regina Brett
Sunday May 28, 2006
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Original post HERE
Column about the "internet aging process", 90 years in 50, HERE
Funnily enough, many people seem to like these lessons less once they learn the author is younger; looks like we believe wisdom only comes with a very old age.
I disagree, and want to share this 45+5 lessons, I found them very right, making you feel content with who you are, and inspiring to celebrate life. Read on :)
45 LIFE LESSONS AND 5 TO GROW ON
by Regina Brett
Sunday May 28, 2006
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Original post HERE
Column about the "internet aging process", 90 years in 50, HERE
Labels: internet myth, life lessons, philosophising, regina brett
When can I call Australia home?..
0 Comments Published by Svetlana Zhukova on Thursday, June 18, 2009 at 3:42 PM.
Just read a blog post of one of most interesting philosophic peopel I know, Arthur (here)
It got me unsettled again on my 'where i belong' type question. I'm thinking that Aussies are very lucky in a way that then can freely travel the world and yet have this beautiful country as their homeland. I reckon if you could choose where you born, Australia is quite awesome - you grow up in this great nature and enjoying life place, and when you grow up and get bored/desire more, the passport gives you opportunity to travel and be accepted almost everyone (definitely better than being americans, IMHO). And you can always come back to re-charge, and what a beautiful place to re-charge Australia is.
I guess for us, foreigners who come to Australia in most cases for a short while, and in most cases staying for many years, the Australian lifestyle, comfort and environment are the major attractions. I enjoy living here, and I hope I will stay for longer. But I don't feel free... I'll explain.
Free for me is at home, in Belarus (which may seem ironic to some :) It's to do with the fact that I know the place, I have my roots, my family, childhood friends, and even rights there (however universally limited, but I am an equal citizen there). This last bit is actually more important than I thought. Free also means that I can leave, and I can come back. Now, I can't go to as many places and as easily as most of other countries' citizens can, but there is always something I can do, and I can always come back.
In Australia, I'm a visitor. If I leave now, I can't just simply choose to come back, and this limitation somehow daunts me, it makes me feel less secure with where I am in life, and somewhat stains my happiness here. which is a bit of a vicious circle really - I'm happy, that's why I want to stay, but it's not that easy, and I'm not 100% happy...
I would love to have that freedom one day - the freedom to leave Australia behind, knowing at the same time that it's always there for me. I wonder will I?.. Should I?..
(and what is this travelling and coming and going away business anyways, my grandma would say :)
It got me unsettled again on my 'where i belong' type question. I'm thinking that Aussies are very lucky in a way that then can freely travel the world and yet have this beautiful country as their homeland. I reckon if you could choose where you born, Australia is quite awesome - you grow up in this great nature and enjoying life place, and when you grow up and get bored/desire more, the passport gives you opportunity to travel and be accepted almost everyone (definitely better than being americans, IMHO). And you can always come back to re-charge, and what a beautiful place to re-charge Australia is.
I guess for us, foreigners who come to Australia in most cases for a short while, and in most cases staying for many years, the Australian lifestyle, comfort and environment are the major attractions. I enjoy living here, and I hope I will stay for longer. But I don't feel free... I'll explain.
Free for me is at home, in Belarus (which may seem ironic to some :) It's to do with the fact that I know the place, I have my roots, my family, childhood friends, and even rights there (however universally limited, but I am an equal citizen there). This last bit is actually more important than I thought. Free also means that I can leave, and I can come back. Now, I can't go to as many places and as easily as most of other countries' citizens can, but there is always something I can do, and I can always come back.
In Australia, I'm a visitor. If I leave now, I can't just simply choose to come back, and this limitation somehow daunts me, it makes me feel less secure with where I am in life, and somewhat stains my happiness here. which is a bit of a vicious circle really - I'm happy, that's why I want to stay, but it's not that easy, and I'm not 100% happy...
I would love to have that freedom one day - the freedom to leave Australia behind, knowing at the same time that it's always there for me. I wonder will I?.. Should I?..
(and what is this travelling and coming and going away business anyways, my grandma would say :)
Labels: australia, philosophising
Lessons From Living Abroad
0 Comments Published by Svetlana Zhukova on Thursday, May 21, 2009 at 1:21 PM.
It was an interesting and insightful evening today.
1. I had a chat at a work function with my also foreign boss about how sometimes/some australian people are actually close-minded towards foreigners (excluding UK people). Even when speaking correctly (mind you, many foreigners speak better english than locals), you are asked to repeat what you say because people don't expect to hear things in a foreign accent. Or worse, people try to correct you - and while meaning perhaps well, aussies are not precisely the most polite people, so this can be quite annoying.
And especially those people who have never lived overseas (majority), are quite set that their white australian way of life and thinking is the right way. My company, for example, is very homogeneous. The whole sales team is anglo-saxon, and apart from the finance department and ground operations, we do not have asians. I think I'm the only one employed with non-australian/UK passport - which is not a bad thing in itself, it just represents quite certain points of view.
Foreign experience is not as much appreciated in Australia as it should, in my opinion. I was lucky enough to start my job in Sydney in a team that respected diversity and I had the opportunity to present my opinions. But in so many cases I know the companies do not leverage the experience of their staff who represent different cultures.
Lesson #1: when moving overseas/living in a different country, for your own happiness at work try to choose a company or team that will leverage, appreciate or at least acknowledge your overseas experience
2. When I got a cab to go home, I got a driver who was Russian, from Baku (Azerbaijan). Of course, he asked where I'm from - I do sound eastern-european, Russian to be precise :) My theory is that if you started living overseas after 18, your accent will never go away, but I'm actually proud of it now - different story. He told me that he has lived in Australia for 26 years, and before that in Europe and US, but he still misses Russia. The old one. He says Russian people of Soviet generations are most intelligent - over 60-80% would have university education as it was free. This cab driver used to be a marine engineer. So many scientists, engineers, sportsmen from ex-USSR are now in other countries earning their living in their field, because they have their brains to offer. But the nostalgia never goes away. For small things that are ingrained in memory - songs, movies you grew up with, childhood memories of ice-cream for 10 kopeeks, summer camps and grandma's preservatives for winter...
But that taxi driver, even though he misses Russia a lot, doesn't want to go back. Which is smart actually. He doesn't want to go and see his memories of good old days be shattered by a new Russia. Yes, I believe in a bigger picture life there is better that 20 years ago, and will keep getting better, but the thing is it's very different. People are very different. Even to how I remembered from my own - very early - USSR childhood. You can be killed for 1,000 dollars, because money and material status matter so much now.
And that cabbie, he doesn't want to see that, because then he would loose his place in life - it's hard to accept when you are 50 that your motherland as you know it doesn't exist anymore. And at the same time you are never a part of your new country's life, because you miss the old one, which is no more... Vicious circle.
Lesson #2: Protect your memories. Or be brave to face the changes and be brave to adapt to a new reality.
3. And finally, I read an article in The Economist about how living abroad gives you a creative edge. The most interesting part is actually the comments, some really really cool thoughts there. One of my favourite comments:
READ THE ARTICLE
The key thought is that living overseas makes you more flexible and adaptable to change (given open mind and curiosity). And you also actually need to live abroad, not just travel - a key difference.
Lesson #3: Reflect on how your overseas experience has changed you. And once you understand your strengths, leverage on them. Be proud (but not arrogant) of your diversity.
1. I had a chat at a work function with my also foreign boss about how sometimes/some australian people are actually close-minded towards foreigners (excluding UK people). Even when speaking correctly (mind you, many foreigners speak better english than locals), you are asked to repeat what you say because people don't expect to hear things in a foreign accent. Or worse, people try to correct you - and while meaning perhaps well, aussies are not precisely the most polite people, so this can be quite annoying.
And especially those people who have never lived overseas (majority), are quite set that their white australian way of life and thinking is the right way. My company, for example, is very homogeneous. The whole sales team is anglo-saxon, and apart from the finance department and ground operations, we do not have asians. I think I'm the only one employed with non-australian/UK passport - which is not a bad thing in itself, it just represents quite certain points of view.
Foreign experience is not as much appreciated in Australia as it should, in my opinion. I was lucky enough to start my job in Sydney in a team that respected diversity and I had the opportunity to present my opinions. But in so many cases I know the companies do not leverage the experience of their staff who represent different cultures.
Lesson #1: when moving overseas/living in a different country, for your own happiness at work try to choose a company or team that will leverage, appreciate or at least acknowledge your overseas experience
2. When I got a cab to go home, I got a driver who was Russian, from Baku (Azerbaijan). Of course, he asked where I'm from - I do sound eastern-european, Russian to be precise :) My theory is that if you started living overseas after 18, your accent will never go away, but I'm actually proud of it now - different story. He told me that he has lived in Australia for 26 years, and before that in Europe and US, but he still misses Russia. The old one. He says Russian people of Soviet generations are most intelligent - over 60-80% would have university education as it was free. This cab driver used to be a marine engineer. So many scientists, engineers, sportsmen from ex-USSR are now in other countries earning their living in their field, because they have their brains to offer. But the nostalgia never goes away. For small things that are ingrained in memory - songs, movies you grew up with, childhood memories of ice-cream for 10 kopeeks, summer camps and grandma's preservatives for winter...
But that taxi driver, even though he misses Russia a lot, doesn't want to go back. Which is smart actually. He doesn't want to go and see his memories of good old days be shattered by a new Russia. Yes, I believe in a bigger picture life there is better that 20 years ago, and will keep getting better, but the thing is it's very different. People are very different. Even to how I remembered from my own - very early - USSR childhood. You can be killed for 1,000 dollars, because money and material status matter so much now.
And that cabbie, he doesn't want to see that, because then he would loose his place in life - it's hard to accept when you are 50 that your motherland as you know it doesn't exist anymore. And at the same time you are never a part of your new country's life, because you miss the old one, which is no more... Vicious circle.
Lesson #2: Protect your memories. Or be brave to face the changes and be brave to adapt to a new reality.
3. And finally, I read an article in The Economist about how living abroad gives you a creative edge. The most interesting part is actually the comments, some really really cool thoughts there. One of my favourite comments:
Living overseas also forces you to accept alternate viewpoints and opinions and think about things very differently to how you would normally look at them.
READ THE ARTICLE
The key thought is that living overseas makes you more flexible and adaptable to change (given open mind and curiosity). And you also actually need to live abroad, not just travel - a key difference.
Lesson #3: Reflect on how your overseas experience has changed you. And once you understand your strengths, leverage on them. Be proud (but not arrogant) of your diversity.
Labels: living overseas, philosophising, thoughts and feelings
Alexander Rybak from Norway - Eurovision 09
2 Comments Published by Svetlana Zhukova on Sunday, May 17, 2009 at 3:04 PM.
Just finished watching Eurovision 09 (yes I do watch it, especially since it's in Moscow this year!), and the 1st place went to the Norwegian guy of Belarusian origin, Alexander Rybak (Александр Рыбак).
And what's interesting to observe - Russian and Belarusian media refer to him as a kind of 'our guy'. He is also very cute :)
While I'm very happy for the guy, he looked very genuine - there is this tendency I noticed that if anything is remotely related or originates from Russia etc, we will claim it our own. That guy is as Norwegian as they come. Yes, his parents are from Belarus, and he was born there, but he left the country when he was 6 and have never been back since... He is not a citizen, and I'm sure considers himself very Norwegian. Alexander is not Belarusian, in the same was as I'm not Lithianian, even though I was born there :)
His parents probably left because Belarus, their own country, couldn't provide them the living their talent deserved (they are musicians), but suddenly now he is 'ours' ?? Alexander means more for Norway and is much more theirs than he ever was or will be for Belarus. And fair enough. And good luck :)
I think the place of birth doesn't matter as much as the environment you become an adult in. What language do you speak in school? Who are your role models? Where do you spend your summer holidays? What language do you think in?
In the current all-global, all-travelling, all-interconnected world, it's not the country you are born in, that makes who you are. It's you choosing who you are by choosing where you belong and what you do.
I'm so happy it's possible.
Reporting from my couch in Sydney, me - born in Lithiania, Russian by origin, grew up in Belarus, lived in Russia and Netherlands, and am settling down in Australia :)
Eurovision 2009 in Moscow - results
and the winning song on YouTube
And what's interesting to observe - Russian and Belarusian media refer to him as a kind of 'our guy'. He is also very cute :)
While I'm very happy for the guy, he looked very genuine - there is this tendency I noticed that if anything is remotely related or originates from Russia etc, we will claim it our own. That guy is as Norwegian as they come. Yes, his parents are from Belarus, and he was born there, but he left the country when he was 6 and have never been back since... He is not a citizen, and I'm sure considers himself very Norwegian. Alexander is not Belarusian, in the same was as I'm not Lithianian, even though I was born there :)
His parents probably left because Belarus, their own country, couldn't provide them the living their talent deserved (they are musicians), but suddenly now he is 'ours' ?? Alexander means more for Norway and is much more theirs than he ever was or will be for Belarus. And fair enough. And good luck :)
I think the place of birth doesn't matter as much as the environment you become an adult in. What language do you speak in school? Who are your role models? Where do you spend your summer holidays? What language do you think in?
In the current all-global, all-travelling, all-interconnected world, it's not the country you are born in, that makes who you are. It's you choosing who you are by choosing where you belong and what you do.
I'm so happy it's possible.
Reporting from my couch in Sydney, me - born in Lithiania, Russian by origin, grew up in Belarus, lived in Russia and Netherlands, and am settling down in Australia :)
Eurovision 2009 in Moscow - results
and the winning song on YouTube
Labels: alexander rybak, eurovision 2009, philosophising, where you born doesn't make you
Tomorrow I turn 26. so funny, I don't feel the difference from being 24 or 25. Because I think the life is in the current, and happens day by day, minute after minute. All these dates & milestones anyways are just mark-ups invented by us. 25 December is Christmas for some, and a normal day for others, every celebration is only in the attitude, not in the date itself.
And so I think our life changes when something happens: events, decisions, meeting other people - not when your calendar turns and you mark up another year in the birthday celebrations tradition... Birthday is just a moment in time to stop and take notice.
I think the fast-paced life I lived in my teenage and early 20s made me used to the changes; I feel like nothing special or significant happened in the last year or two, while before something quite radically changed almost every year.
I want new challenges and new surroundings; new conversations and new motivations.
How am I going to make my next year the most exciting year yet??
And so I think our life changes when something happens: events, decisions, meeting other people - not when your calendar turns and you mark up another year in the birthday celebrations tradition... Birthday is just a moment in time to stop and take notice.
I think the fast-paced life I lived in my teenage and early 20s made me used to the changes; I feel like nothing special or significant happened in the last year or two, while before something quite radically changed almost every year.
I want new challenges and new surroundings; new conversations and new motivations.
How am I going to make my next year the most exciting year yet??
Labels: birthday, thoughts and feelings, turning 26
I finally watched Susan Boyle video, in short - amazing. In case you haven't seen yet, the full version (with pre-show backstage comments) is below.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY
over 75,000,000 million views, 200,000 comments, it's a global sensation
It's such a cool story, a few thoughts that were running through my head:
- beautiful moment, I had a smile on my face since the moment she started singing
- never have preconceptions, assuming too many things backfires :)
- such a shame how people reacted to her at first. What where all those comments in the beginning, frowns, tone about?? Don't people have a chance to start doing something later in their life? Do you really have to be only young and beautiful to be considered a talent? entertainment industry is such a monstrous machine, seriously
- gotta love internet and youtube in particular :) Such story could have never happened a few years ago
- a lesson to aspiring social media/viral specialists: it happens when there is an authentic story, not just a set-up you want people to follow
- I watched with delight how judges' faces changed; got it??
- interesting how quickly the audience switched from laughing at to applauding to, from frowns to smiles. Either people can admit their mistakes, or it's the success that wins the crowd over?..
- it's never too late to give it a try :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY
over 75,000,000 million views, 200,000 comments, it's a global sensation
It's such a cool story, a few thoughts that were running through my head:
- beautiful moment, I had a smile on my face since the moment she started singing
- never have preconceptions, assuming too many things backfires :)
- such a shame how people reacted to her at first. What where all those comments in the beginning, frowns, tone about?? Don't people have a chance to start doing something later in their life? Do you really have to be only young and beautiful to be considered a talent? entertainment industry is such a monstrous machine, seriously
- gotta love internet and youtube in particular :) Such story could have never happened a few years ago
- a lesson to aspiring social media/viral specialists: it happens when there is an authentic story, not just a set-up you want people to follow
- I watched with delight how judges' faces changed; got it??
- interesting how quickly the audience switched from laughing at to applauding to, from frowns to smiles. Either people can admit their mistakes, or it's the success that wins the crowd over?..
- it's never too late to give it a try :)
Labels: show, susan boyle, thoughts and feelings, what people think
