S.

Next time I'll trust my intuition.
It works, seriously. Today, Saturday, I woke up at 8 (!) in the morning to go to AAI meeting in Belgium. And simply physically couldn't get myself out of my bed - was sooo much not into going there. And only by strong-strong-strong will, telling myself about responsibilty of the role, need to meet people, because I promised to come to the meeting, etc etc I walked to the central station. And what do you think? On my way to Belgium the train broke, and we stood for 3 hours, them the second one I had to take was cancelled, and instead of arriving to alumni meeting at 12, I was there at 4.30 p.m. Till 5.30 p.m. as I had to go back to catch my trains to R-dam. And...
The train was delayed, then the next one cancelled, one more delayed, I had to change 2 times. And so it is - I came home at 23.00, after spending 14 (!!!) hours travelling and 1 out of them for actual meeting. I almost could do round-trip Moscow-St.Petersburg-Moscow with this time :) And they call themselves excellent service!!!

However there were several good moments today as well.
There is no snow yet in Rotterdam, but it is in Belgium. and after being a bit stressed after early waking up and dark autumn in R-dam, I saw finally snow - and felt as at home! all those thoughts about New Year coming, nice days when it's snow around and sunny, white landscape... I've realized I was missing our winter as it is. Trees covered with white powder, snowmen near houses, roofs with snow hats...I think if winter - it should be winter, with snow, noses freezing, sun on the snowflakes, frozen lakes and canals...Melting and dark often, and extra white and sun-shining some days as well. How we say in Russia - we need winter to be able to enjoy spring :) And often it's simply nice by itself... living diversity - in nature as well!

Another good thing was - I was in Antwerpen in Belgium for 50 min between my trains. And so I walked out of the station, found some cafe. And it was just so great :) Capuccino in the afternoon, cosy cafe with red chairs, Christmas interior already, merry music, people passing by... (cafe was on the corner of a cross-road, and I sat as I do usually - by the window). Nice Saturday afternoon in a nice european city - cosy streets, moms with their children, small girl playing with my table-cover, friends going back from christmas shopping... We should indeed probably stop more often in our running around and hurrying to live and just see how nice are small things around. Beauty is simple. And simple things are so beautiful if we have time to notice them.

hereby I give a promise to spend more time for going around Rotterdam and Amsterdam - to see LIFE in Netherlands!

I've managed to upload some pictures from Norway - I was in Oslo last week-end of October.

I must admit I liked it a lot - full of surprises, nice memories and people - people are great there :)



my journey in photos:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/91511785@N00/?saved=1

or you can search at flickr.com for tags svetaz_norway (advanced search better)

Oslo-ly yours :)

I found today this poem hanging on one of the walls of AI office. Indeed we have the best place to work in :)
I wish I have written this poem myself... It is so much describes what I feel we should be


It doesn’t interest me what you do for living.
I want to know what you ache for,
And if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
For your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know of you have touched the center of your own sorrow.
If you have been opened by life’s betrayals or
Have become shriveled and closed from further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own.
If you can dance with wildness and let ecstasy fill you
To the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning you to be careful,
Be realistic, or to remember the limitations of begin human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you’re telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can see beauty
Even when it is not pretty every day,
And if you can source your life from god’s presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
And still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
Weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the
Fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
And if you truly like the company you keep in empty moments.

~~Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder

I found today a wonderful quote on love:

"Love is accepting and trusting that you are accepted and trusted"

This is at first what we feel to our mothers, and then to our men or women... May be this is what we search for - acceptance and trust?

We have started today an interesting discussion on the way home - I told that I want to have 3 children (I want indeed). And it was a question that we have already more than 6 bill people on our planet, and if everyone thinks as I do, we'll never solve our over-population problems.

But I believe that even if I have one child, it will never stop or decrease 6 bill, or influence that somewhere in the world an Indian or Chinese or Italilan young woman will have less children as well. And this is not the way to solve our problems - to forbid people have more children. I would not live in China if they give me a fine for having more than 1 child (forgive me Chinese people, I know that there is a reasining behind, economic conditions etc - its not about you - it's about me, me as a person who wouldn't take it).
I think we need to find the way how to build our life in a sustainable way having this increasing population. It is normal tendency of creatures - to continue growing. We better find the solution how to sustain our being in a way that it doesn't destroy the world around, than stop births. I will never leave or get away my child for the sake of world balance.

There are things where we should think globally (I will commit myself to work or to start a sustainable company/organization, that will be working for better society), but there are things that we should take deeply personally. This is true that if to take the world globally, every person is counted. But when I think about my family, I think about them, not about global statistics. And if to take exactly me and exactly my 3 children that I want to have, this +3 people in 6 billions will not change the picture. And I don't see the need to sacrifice my family for abstract global numbers.

I do not say that we shouldn't take care about the world around us - we should. We all are interconnected, no matter if we want it or not. I will always close the tap if the water is running, and turn off electricity, and will work for peace. But children - it is different. It is not the resource that we should spend carefully. They are new lives that we give to this world. And I better have more children and give them this good understanding of our world and make them aware and responsible people. And who knows - they or their grandchildren will find the solution and will make this world a better place.

May be I sound egoistic in this case - but I was a part of society that was too collectivistic for many years, and i know, that it doesn't help much really. They are together, true - but still personalities - that make the difference. Everyone matters. And I better bring to this world more of those who matter than limit them. By working with people for people, and by being a mother myself.

The choice is my choice - and peace to anyone else who thinks differently :)

There are people in our lives that leave us happy
Just because of the fact that they have crossed our way.
Some of them remain beside us
Looking many moons passing through
But others just pass between one step and another

We call all of them friends
But there are many kind of friends.
May be each leaf of a tree charaterizes each of them.
We get to know the entire family of leaves,
Whom we respect and wish the best,
But destiny shows us other friends
That we didn't know
Would cross our way.

Many of them we call best friends
Friends of heart
They are sincere and truthful
They know when we are not alright
And what makes us happy
But there are also frinds for a while
May be in holidays, in a day or in a given hour
Those friends put many smiles on our face
During the time we were together

We cannot forget distance friends
Those who stay in the tips of the twigs
But every time that wind blows
They appear again
Between one lead and another
Time goes on, simmer is gone
Autumn is coming
And we lose some of our leaves
Some will be born next summer
And others will remain for many seasons

But what makes us happier is that
Those that fall continue to get closer
They continue feeding our roots with joy
Memories of wonderful moments
Whne there were with us on our way
I wish you, leaf of my life
Peace, love, health, success
Prosperity... today and always
Simply because:

Each person who passes through our lives is unique
Always leaves something of themselves
And takes a piece of us
There are some that take a lot
But there is nobody who leaves nothing
This is the major responsibility
Of our life and the most evident proof
That two should do not
Meet for free
Unknow author

This is not my poem, but I like it a lot. very true - and with this I want to thank you - all those whom I met on my way. And many whom I'll meet again!
Yours

Dream, smile, try.
Make mistakes, learn and try again. Explore unknown and celebrate small things on the way. Fall in love, laugh, cry, say what you feel, ask questions.
This is about life.

Enjoy a small flower in autumn, feel the wind on your skin, smile to the sky and to someone who is passing by.
To be able to live every single moment of it, enjoy when it comes to you and work on achieveing what you really believe in.
There are so many ways to describe what is life - and this is one of them. Everyone of us will have it differently - and this is the beauty, that we can think different thoughts and still understand and learn from each other. There are millions of things to be discovered, understood and lived. All we need is a courage and belief in ourselves that we can be more than we are.

I'm sitting now in my room in Rotterdam, listening to the evening bell of a city hall tower and to my favorite music , thinking about how lucky I am. Because of experiences I had, because of thoughts I think, because of people I met. Because of all future things that will happen on my way.
To live, live, LIVE!

This is one of those moments of happiness - to all of you, my dears :)